Things to Consider

Today's topic of conversation: cutting. Now, before you judge and say its a touchy subject, I know. But I think that I have something to say. First, no, I do not cut. But I am reading a book about a girl who does. The book is called Willow, and it is by Julia Hoban. It is a very good book, and do not be deterred by the subject matter.
Now, I personally think that cutting is horrible. Sorry if this offends people, but I'm simply putting my opinion out there. It's easier to bleed than to face what made you bleed, no? It is sort of.... avoidance of what is really the problem at hand. I have written a lot of poetry on the subject, just because it is a strong emotion and I find it interesting to explore.
The people that do cut and try to find help, namely To Write Love On Her Arms, are very brave. Telling someone something like that is very brave and I applaud those who do, and urge those who haven't to look for help. Maybe even want to stop.
This is purely a random post, sparked by thoughts in the car today, on the way to IKEA. I think that it is sad that so many people in my generation cut themselves or otherwise harm themselves, and I have to wonder if people long before our time did this to themselves or not. Are we the only generation that uses pain as a way to feel? Is this another hint that we are growing increasingly lazy and sloth-like? Or is it simply that the world is becoming darker, more sinister, and we can no longer take it? Whatever the reason, it makes me sad. Thank you. Please share your thoughts with me, if you feel the need. I'd like to know other opinions on the subject.

Princesses!

My friend and I had a Disney Princess Movie Marathon. We watched Mulan, The Little Mermaid (my personal favorite), Pocahontas, and Beauty and the Beast. We stayed up until like two, and then went to bed because the next day was the water park! We stayed a long, good day at the park and then I got dropped off back at home. Anyway. I had something to say about the Disney movies.
One, I love how they are all different nationalities. Like, Mulan is Chinese, Pocahontas is Native American (or Indian, whichever you prefer), and Belle is French. Ariel is... a mermaid. Oh how many little girl days I spent wishing I were a mermaid and could just swim forever, while Ariel wished to be where the people were.... Maybe that's why I became a swimmer. I feel so natural in water. Its a wonderful feeling. Also, I feel at ease when I'm writing something beautiful or meaningful or (hopefully) both. Its... an amazing feeling.
Today I also went to a party with just a few of my friends, and it was really fun. A few of my friends and I went in to eat some pickles (yes, literally, get your mind out of the gutter if you were thinking that!) and when we came out, our friends were yelling "Hurry, run, Kevin's suffocating!" and we all blew it off as a joke, because we were only gone maybe five minutes, and Kevin was just fine before. But, as we approached, he was in fact on the ground, sort of gasping. His hood of his sweatshirt had been tied around his face, with a really tight knot for a pretty long period of time, and he literally could not breathe anymore. Luckily for him, another friend, Matt, is really good at untying knots and saved Kevin's life. We were just messing around (well, we not including me, so they) when he couldn't breathe anymore and it was really just innocent play. But think how scary that must have been! Breath stolen... none able to get through. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of it. Just remember next time you fool around... its not always fun and games. Also, sorry to be so morbid. It really was fun party :)

New and Improved

Today, I got a new computer! Well, computer is a loose term. Technically, its a netbook and it is TINY. Ten inch screen and its only like two pounds. It is the cutest thing ever! It arrived today in a little box and I unwrapped it and its soooo pretty too. And a major improvement over my last, broken computer. Smaller, but the keyboard is a nice size. No more typos than usual. That is pretty much all I had to say, because until I get all my old computer stuff onto this computer, I dont have much time to blog. Well, I do. But I dont have much to say. :)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky was one of my sole purchases in Paris, and I bought it as an impulse buy from Shakespeare Book Company. I have to say, I had my doubts about it, because I just climbed the book ladder (which made me super excited, I've always wanted to!) and plucked it from the shelf. I finished it in two days in Paris, which is a big accomplishment, seeing as we were not in the apartment too long each day. This book has everything. Love, lust, drugs, abuse, friend issues, person issues. It really is just that great. It's about a kid, Charlie, making his way through his first year of high school. He learns to participate in life instead of standing on the sidelines.

Losing something is never fun. But regaining what you thought lost? Its amazing. Like losing touch with a friend and then you get back together and its so great because you never imagined it could be like this again. But it is. I just wonder if I've already lost it once, will it be that much easier to lose in the future? I hope not. I really hope not.

Flour?

Well, I am sitting down after a nice shower. I finally got all the flour out of my hair! I am so proud, it's not even funny. That's right, flour. As in, bread baking flour. We bought a bag and threw it at each other. I was coated head to toe. A few hours later, I still had flour stuck all over me. Good times.

School is closing in, with only eight days until it begins again. I got a backpack :) Also, I am very close to finishing summer reading. So, my mental prep for school is well on its way. Getting up early? Not a problem. School work? Well, let's hope not.

I've thought alot about growing up lately. Growing old, growing apart, growing taller, growing growing growing. Growing old I can handle, even though being stooped and wrinkled scares me. Growing apart is really hard. There's nothing you can really do to stop it from happening. One day you might be best friends, the next it seems like you don't talk anymore, and when you do, it's strained. But it's a part of 'growing up'. I just want to know that I can make it through. I might emerge from 'growing up' with a few scars and more than a few bruises and heartaches but without it, where would I be? In Great Expectations, Miss Havisham taught Estella not to love, so she would never get her heart broken. But now, she has no heart. So which is worse?

Can You Keep a Secret?

Can I tell you a secret?
she whispered late at night.
you nodded and smiled.
she faltered; stopped.
Did you let her?
Did you even wonder?
Can I tell you a secret?
She never asked again.

With no one left to tell,
she sat all alone
and told herself,
again and again
she told herself.
Spelled it out upon the floor
in blood, and
with no one left to tell,
she grew silent.

Are you aware?
You could have listened.
You could have helped.
Instead, one day,
you will discover. Scars.
How many could you have stopped?
Maybe bloodied, she will tell
but it will be much too late.
Are you aware?
You should have asked.

Take My Hand

All morning I sat at my desk and carved away. This is the final product, enjoy :).