Tech Update.

So, get this. Today, I sign onto my email, and I have some emails waiting for me, from computer softwares, wanting me to put their name on my blog. Imagine that! It's cool to have people emailing me wanting me to write reviews for their blog. I mean, Im guessing it's not just me getting these emails, but these are my first and call me a dork, but I got excited. One of the emails was from something called Screen Capture Software. Now, I'm not too big on technology, but I did look at the features and it looked pretty sweet to me, especially now I'm on twloha street team, and alot of the 'proof' of missions are screenshots. So, go check it out at Screen Capture Software

Hopefully I'll post more later, (Windows 7 TuneUp here I come) but with a job and school, I'm a little busy sometimes.

Almost famous

What's the best thing about thanksgiving break? Having a friend over, a couple failed attempts at kidnapping, and an awesome movie. Minus the getting held down and tickled part, of course. Goodness, jake, you and your little red wagon ;)

Things Fall Apart
and crack and crumble.
A paper ball,
crinkled and used, anger
and agitation creased into
every fold.
Watching, still,
as the house you loved,
falls to ruin.
Parents screaming downstairs
with no sign of letting
up, while they think
you might be asleep.
Things Fall Apart.

Hopeless

I have this friend,
you see.
Don't we all?
And she has
this problem.
Should you ask
why i'd care,
I'd reply
"Because I love
her" and I do.
Now her problem
is like mine.
And I can't help her,
can't think how.
Only hope.
But when I'm
hopeless? Then what?
You might say
it's not mine to solve.
And I'd reply
"I love her"
and I do. but
love doesn't seem
to be enough.

As you can see, new look. Hope you like it. Thanksgiving break soon, thank goodness. I need it.

oh... a title?

I got two things today that made me really excited. One, my paycheck. Finally! All those swimming lessons finally paid off (literally). Also, my letter tops from Anna Banana. I appreciate you sending them to me anyway! Thank you! But, I fully expect another real letter (it does not have to be ten pages) before I can respond, because all i know is that you did a wonderful drawing of an eye. :)

Also, super long photo shoot today. No, I'm no model. It's for a friend, and his art project. Hilarity at its best.

Sometimes I look out my window and imagine the same horror movie horrors happening. Like, getting my tongue cut out. And, a girl with black hair crawling from my TV and making my face look, erm, interesting. Mostly, I imagine just anything scary, to maybe give my heart a little bit of a beat to it. Its a weird game I play, but its just a game because nothing ever happens. I've never been in a horror movie situation, other than the time I was at the abandoned house at night. Scary, to be sure.

Ah, it seems ive run out of things to say. Oh, not quite! the food drive at our school raised soooo many cans. It was crazy! Film Club alone raised, like, 600 cans. or other food items. Im really proud of our school and I can assure you that third phase (the place we raised food for) will be PACKED. :)

inspiration

Hand pressed to
glassy window,
wet with rain,
the sky's tears.
The darkness has
set in for the
night. Clouds
block out the stars,
and a light shines
on the wet asphalt.

Turn away, back
inside. You pound
you music and
lock your door.
Books and papers
spread, the picture
perfect of studious.
And a light shines
on the wet asphalt.

Pull your sleeves over
your hands, cuddle
up warm.
Roll up tight into
a ball. Door locked,
isn't it? Double check.
Heavy pounding footsteps
on the stairs.
That time again.
And a light shines
on the wet asphalt.

Turn the music down
but not too far.
You're not asleep.
Can't be yet.
Footsteps thud
bu your bedroom.
Let out your breath.
Dont come back.
And a light shines
on the wet asphalt.

Not coming back.
Give in, sleep, finally.
Is the door locked?
too tired to check.
But the footsteps
come back. Door, open.
Drunken breath.
Pounding hands, cower
down low.
And a light shines
on the wet asphalt.

Later, new bruises
of his disappointment.
Sitting, staring,
Hand cold on galss
dripped with sky's
tears.That light
looks like hope.
Through it all,
a light shines
on the wet asphalt.



(I'd love to hear your comments, I eat them up :) )

Genetic talk today. Four hours of my day spent sitting in a too-dim room listening to alllll the details of genetics. Fact: I will not be a scientist. Fact: I definitely wanted to just skip out and go to my art class. I should have, nobody would have known.

Other than that, my day was so-so. not that anybody reading this would care, would they? I wonder how many people read my blog with any sense of regularity. two? three? Maybe? Oh well. Someday I'll have something I've written published, I just know it. I have to make it happen. Collection of poems is what I'm thinking. You think anybody would read my poems? Not all of them are brilliant, I assure you. So, should I go for it anyway? Tonight I'm aiming for a deep symbolism in my writing, because I'm feeling quite deep. Poem post tomorrow, I swear.

Friday the 13th

An ever-calculating mind.
Soon, expectations
turn sour. Butterflies
shrivel and die,
stomach heavy.
Tears run down,
unstoppable. No matter
the attempts
to quell saltwater.
Love on her arms,
tears on her face.
Sometimes, things
go wrong. But why?

The House

"I don't like
this place"
open the door,
glass on the
ground.
Death lingers.
Rot, too,
and fingers
of decay
tighten their
hold each day.

"Let's leave"
around the
corner,
secrets burn
and a once-
beautiful room
falls to ruin.
and the basement
floods with
stagnant water.

"it's beautiful"
though sunken
and hollowed
and chewed
up and swallowed,
and erie darkness
remains. Past
the broken
window panes
and cracked visage,
the shadows of
beauty lurk
for those who really
look to find.

not the best

Mind whirring
much too fast
for sleep.
Enclose your mind
between two hands.
The outside
creeps in.
You hope, no,
pray, for sleep
to come.
Sweet release
from reality
into nothing.
Falling hard and
fast, wishing to
never wake.
because when you
do, its all you
can do not to
cry.




admittedly, not the best poem ive ever written. but all of a sudden a black cloud has come over me and all i want is some ice cream and sleep but both seem out of the question.

poem every day for 100 days. Ive been going three days now. sadly, i dont always have time to post, let alone write a poem. I try super hard, though, and sneak in some rather crappy ones in moments when im alone. Ill post todays later, right now, back to math. OH, the joy of babysitting all day, and yet still there is work to be done.

the key

how can you explain
happiness?
Warm slippers on cold
feet. A fat book
on a rainy day,
perhaps?
the lyrics to your
favorite song,
knowing them
while you sing along?

How can you explain
sadness?
The tide pulling
away from the shore.
Looking at a car pulling
away, leaving you
on the curb.
Watching some little
bit of you blow
away in the wind.
just like that,
gone?

How can you explain
yourself?
You say youre
simple enough,
nice enough,
enough.
But are you really?
thin little prickles,
a feeling,
not quite right.
can you sum it
up in
just three words?

Funny how those you thought would never hurt you are the ones that end up hurting the worst. Funny how building up a wall won't stop the damage; in fact, when it comes down, you'll just have a bunch of rubble. Some days, nothing makes sense.

recipe

of the perfect prank.

• Step one, steal a friend's cell phone
• Step two, change contacts of people you know they will call/ text
• Step three, replace the phone, and make sure you changed your own number
• Step four, text them and see the look of surprise as 'death' texts them. Hilarious!

I'm keeping my phone as it is, changed. I sort of like Jack Sparrow texting me, as well as Tickle Me Elmo. ;)

i dont understand it. You'd think i would, after all this time. But some things escape me. surely they escape you, too? Somehow, this stings the most. And knowing nothing does nothing. Because the more I see, the less i know of what i thought was to be true.