Dear Ex-Boyfriend(s)
Don't worry, I'm not going to say "fuck you" or anything, because by now there's no hard feelings. Sorry if things ended badly, I don't really remember all the details. Do you? I doubt it. Oh well, you know? There's a reason we're over, and at least we know that.
Thanks for the good times, though, 'cause I'm sure we had those. Thanks for liking me and listening to me (or, you know, not) but thanks anyway. This is an all-exes inclusive letter. Maybe it's too general 'cause I'm sure some of you are bastards or something. Like, not all my relationship endings have been peachy.
You, for those awful in-the-car talks, I found it too easy to run away. I'm sorry I wasn't what you expected. I can't hate you, though. Thank you, I'm sorry.
You, for dating my friend. What the fuck? And for never ever having a ride. Sorry for not liking you enough.
You, for having a shitty tattoo. You told me I was a good kisser. Thank you! But you're not that great. I just let you think so. You can go die.
(see, one of you IS a bastard)
Love,
Emma
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Day Six
Dear Stranger,
Hi, I'm Emma Benschop. How do I explain who I am? Well, I just finished writing camp at Butler and hope to go places when I'm older. I'm 15, but feel much older and look older, too. I don't really know what time is, or what it means, and why. But all I know is that eventually, I'll run out.
I'm dutch but I speak very little.
I'm not french, but I adore it.
Next year I'm going to France. That's important to me.
I haven't met you, and I dont know you yet, but if I were to meet you, you can be sure I'd be nice. I like strangers, and they like me, I think. It's really knowing someone that's tricky.
Love always,
Emma
Hi, I'm Emma Benschop. How do I explain who I am? Well, I just finished writing camp at Butler and hope to go places when I'm older. I'm 15, but feel much older and look older, too. I don't really know what time is, or what it means, and why. But all I know is that eventually, I'll run out.
I'm dutch but I speak very little.
I'm not french, but I adore it.
Next year I'm going to France. That's important to me.
I haven't met you, and I dont know you yet, but if I were to meet you, you can be sure I'd be nice. I like strangers, and they like me, I think. It's really knowing someone that's tricky.
Love always,
Emma
Day five
Dear Dreams
It's like youre on a long road, and all I have to do is get there. But right now I'm walking and it feels like I'll give up before I get to you.
But, Dreams, don't worry. You're spectacular, I've made sure of that. And you'll never get lonely, because I have so many dreams I don't know where to begin.
I love you, dreams, because you keep me going. You're my friends and my enemies and I want to cry over you but instead I'll laugh because I'm young and so are you and meeting you would be... more than amazing. That's one meeting that will have to happen, and I'm sure you'd like to meet me too. Let's hold hands and fly away.
I don't know what to tell you because I know who you are and you know who I am, but I'm sure you hate me for almost giving up sometimes, just as I hate you when I almost do, but if I didn't dream, I'd truly be alone and I'd just sit here, afraid, forever. So thank you.
Love always,
Emma
It's like youre on a long road, and all I have to do is get there. But right now I'm walking and it feels like I'll give up before I get to you.
But, Dreams, don't worry. You're spectacular, I've made sure of that. And you'll never get lonely, because I have so many dreams I don't know where to begin.
I love you, dreams, because you keep me going. You're my friends and my enemies and I want to cry over you but instead I'll laugh because I'm young and so are you and meeting you would be... more than amazing. That's one meeting that will have to happen, and I'm sure you'd like to meet me too. Let's hold hands and fly away.
I don't know what to tell you because I know who you are and you know who I am, but I'm sure you hate me for almost giving up sometimes, just as I hate you when I almost do, but if I didn't dream, I'd truly be alone and I'd just sit here, afraid, forever. So thank you.
Love always,
Emma
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day Four, sibling
Dear Sibling:
I know we don't always get along, or haven't always gotten along, but I do really love you. It's weird to say, because we're sisters and we don't hug goodbye or anything and we act like we just tolerate each other, but I know you love me too. Even when you think I'm a bitch, and I think you're a bitch too sometimes but it always passes, and we are always on the same page. You helped me deal with the parents when I wasn't really able to, and even if we don't share secrets, I know alot about you and you know a lot about me.
Sharing friends isn't easy, and it still isn't. I'll feel left out, or you'll feel left out, but its okay, because that's kind of how it has to work with us. Sometimes you get the cute shirt, sometimes I do. I won't say it, but I think I did miss you when I was gone.
Maybe in the future we won't be tight anymore, but we are now, and thats awesome especially when I'm home and its eight on a summer night when I should be out and about, but I got home late because of camp, but you're home too and you want to hango out with me, and when we make plans we make them together because it kind of does stink when someone has plans and the other one doesnt.
We talk at the same time and know how the other works, and maybe its because we spend lots of time together, or maybe its because you wander into my room and sit down to talk, or I walk into yours and sit on your bed and we just sit and listen to music and have dance parties and watch movies and you're just amazing.
I don't know if you'll read this but thanks for being my sister and putting up with bitchfits and whatnot, because its important.
Love always,
Emma
I know we don't always get along, or haven't always gotten along, but I do really love you. It's weird to say, because we're sisters and we don't hug goodbye or anything and we act like we just tolerate each other, but I know you love me too. Even when you think I'm a bitch, and I think you're a bitch too sometimes but it always passes, and we are always on the same page. You helped me deal with the parents when I wasn't really able to, and even if we don't share secrets, I know alot about you and you know a lot about me.
Sharing friends isn't easy, and it still isn't. I'll feel left out, or you'll feel left out, but its okay, because that's kind of how it has to work with us. Sometimes you get the cute shirt, sometimes I do. I won't say it, but I think I did miss you when I was gone.
Maybe in the future we won't be tight anymore, but we are now, and thats awesome especially when I'm home and its eight on a summer night when I should be out and about, but I got home late because of camp, but you're home too and you want to hango out with me, and when we make plans we make them together because it kind of does stink when someone has plans and the other one doesnt.
We talk at the same time and know how the other works, and maybe its because we spend lots of time together, or maybe its because you wander into my room and sit down to talk, or I walk into yours and sit on your bed and we just sit and listen to music and have dance parties and watch movies and you're just amazing.
I don't know if you'll read this but thanks for being my sister and putting up with bitchfits and whatnot, because its important.
Love always,
Emma
Day three, parents
Dear Parents:
Really, I love you guys. I dont really have any complaints, because whenever you're mean or what I might think is unfair at the moment is what I deserve, every time. You two are so proud of me, and I'm just glad I can make you proud even though I don't want to be a scientist and I'm not even sure I can be anything, but you support me anyway.
I want to apologize for being an awful child, I'm sure I wasn't easy to deal with. Maybe I'm still not, but you put up with me anyway and I'm glad for that. where would I be without you?
I don't know if you know, but I appreciate you. You are the best parents I could ask for, and I know everyone says that if they have great parents, but you listen to me and ask my opinion and we can talk about drugs at the dinnertable and play the penis game and you understand that I'm a teenager, and even if you (dad) bug me about guys and stuff, I know its becasue you care, and not because you think I shouldnt date or something ridiculous like that. Maybe I don't tell you everything, but hey, I'm a teenager and I'm not supposed to. But I will tell you I love you a million, and I'm proud that you're my parents.
Love always,
Emma
Really, I love you guys. I dont really have any complaints, because whenever you're mean or what I might think is unfair at the moment is what I deserve, every time. You two are so proud of me, and I'm just glad I can make you proud even though I don't want to be a scientist and I'm not even sure I can be anything, but you support me anyway.
I want to apologize for being an awful child, I'm sure I wasn't easy to deal with. Maybe I'm still not, but you put up with me anyway and I'm glad for that. where would I be without you?
I don't know if you know, but I appreciate you. You are the best parents I could ask for, and I know everyone says that if they have great parents, but you listen to me and ask my opinion and we can talk about drugs at the dinnertable and play the penis game and you understand that I'm a teenager, and even if you (dad) bug me about guys and stuff, I know its becasue you care, and not because you think I shouldnt date or something ridiculous like that. Maybe I don't tell you everything, but hey, I'm a teenager and I'm not supposed to. But I will tell you I love you a million, and I'm proud that you're my parents.
Love always,
Emma
Day two-- crush
Dear Crush,
Do you even exsist? Because I'm not sure who you are. You could be the cute guy from the theme park, the guy i wish was still here, of maybe even the one that is still here, but I'm too afraid of ruining things with.
Don't take it personally if I won't date you? Because friends are more important to me than any relationship that isnt going to go anywhere and then you break up and never talk again, and if you do its the standard convo where you can't really say anything for fear that you'll say the wrong thing and be back at the stage of 'oh yeah, thats why we broke up'. So I'm really not too good with crushes, or anyone for that matter.
Also, I hate you all, as much as I adore you. I really despise that you can actually make me have a crush? Because I'm not really a person that thinks I'll ever fall in love, and I don't want to set myself (and you) up for disaster. Guys are really stupid, and I can't stand when I like you, and you like me, because then any chance of a deep conversation about anything worthwhile goes out the window because then you'll read into it too much and I'll get frustrated. So that's my reasoning.
sorry to you all potential crushes.
Love always,
Emma
Do you even exsist? Because I'm not sure who you are. You could be the cute guy from the theme park, the guy i wish was still here, of maybe even the one that is still here, but I'm too afraid of ruining things with.
Don't take it personally if I won't date you? Because friends are more important to me than any relationship that isnt going to go anywhere and then you break up and never talk again, and if you do its the standard convo where you can't really say anything for fear that you'll say the wrong thing and be back at the stage of 'oh yeah, thats why we broke up'. So I'm really not too good with crushes, or anyone for that matter.
Also, I hate you all, as much as I adore you. I really despise that you can actually make me have a crush? Because I'm not really a person that thinks I'll ever fall in love, and I don't want to set myself (and you) up for disaster. Guys are really stupid, and I can't stand when I like you, and you like me, because then any chance of a deep conversation about anything worthwhile goes out the window because then you'll read into it too much and I'll get frustrated. So that's my reasoning.
sorry to you all potential crushes.
Love always,
Emma
Monday, June 21, 2010
Day One
Dear best friend,
I tell you everything. We don't even live in the same state. YOu know my random thoughts and little crevices of my mind that are usually mine alone. But that's a best friend, right? You understand me, even when I don't really make sense.
I worry about it sometimes, if we still lived close, would we be close? Would we even be friends? Would I still tell you everything, or would I be too afraid? When we do see each other again, what will we say? How will we feel? Will it be awkward?
I hope we'd still be friends because even at a distance, I need you in my life and want you there. I want someone to tell things to, and know that you actually care instead of laugh me off if I tell you that the sky is amazing at any time of day, or talk to you about college even if its far off. I hope that we won't be awkward, because I don't think I could stand it.
Best friend, you're always there. Dream big, you amazing girl, you! I love you darling, and I kind of hope I'm your best friend, too.
Love always,
Me
I tell you everything. We don't even live in the same state. YOu know my random thoughts and little crevices of my mind that are usually mine alone. But that's a best friend, right? You understand me, even when I don't really make sense.
I worry about it sometimes, if we still lived close, would we be close? Would we even be friends? Would I still tell you everything, or would I be too afraid? When we do see each other again, what will we say? How will we feel? Will it be awkward?
I hope we'd still be friends because even at a distance, I need you in my life and want you there. I want someone to tell things to, and know that you actually care instead of laugh me off if I tell you that the sky is amazing at any time of day, or talk to you about college even if its far off. I hope that we won't be awkward, because I don't think I could stand it.
Best friend, you're always there. Dream big, you amazing girl, you! I love you darling, and I kind of hope I'm your best friend, too.
Love always,
Me
Sunday, June 20, 2010
A Letter A Day
Write a letter to someone every day for thirty days. Here's the lineup:
Day one: Best friend
2: crush
3: parents
4: sibling (or closest relative)
5: your dreams
6: Stranger
7: ex boyfriend/girlfriend
8: favorite internet friend
9: someone you wish you could meet (alive)
10: Someone you dont talk to as much as you'd like
11: a dead person you want to talk to
12: person who caused you pain/hurt you
13: someone you want to forgive you
14: someone you've drifted away from
15: person you miss the most
16: someone not in your state/ country
17: childhood someone
18: person you wish you could be
19: someone that pesters your mind
20: person that broke your heart the worst
21: Someone you judged by first impression
22: person you want to give a second chance
23: last person you kissed
24: person your favorite memory is with
25: person you know with the worst of times
26: last person you pinky swore with
27: friendliest person you knew for a day
28: person that changed your life
29: persong you want to tell everything to but are too afraid
30: your reflection
Day one: Best friend
2: crush
3: parents
4: sibling (or closest relative)
5: your dreams
6: Stranger
7: ex boyfriend/girlfriend
8: favorite internet friend
9: someone you wish you could meet (alive)
10: Someone you dont talk to as much as you'd like
11: a dead person you want to talk to
12: person who caused you pain/hurt you
13: someone you want to forgive you
14: someone you've drifted away from
15: person you miss the most
16: someone not in your state/ country
17: childhood someone
18: person you wish you could be
19: someone that pesters your mind
20: person that broke your heart the worst
21: Someone you judged by first impression
22: person you want to give a second chance
23: last person you kissed
24: person your favorite memory is with
25: person you know with the worst of times
26: last person you pinky swore with
27: friendliest person you knew for a day
28: person that changed your life
29: persong you want to tell everything to but are too afraid
30: your reflection
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
ho hum
Summer! isn't that fantastic? I mean, lazy days of nothing and summer nights of bliss and fun. I just need a summer romance to spice things up....
oh well.
So last night, i slept in a tent and it stormed! but we stayed strong and just went back to bed once the storm was over. Arent we badass? Yeah, right. We were just too lazy to run inside.
One more announcement, and then an on-the-spot poem.
Announcement! Check out this link : http://www.flickr.com/photos/breerockbrand/4234278731/ and let me know if you're interested. Leave a comment or something. But I promise, if you like writing, this will be very, very cool.
Poem from the top of my head:
smooth feeling,
a steady beating...
my heart?
does it make it right,
to feel? To love,
selflessly?
without letting anything get
in the way?
because humanity
in its essence,
stops and defends,
breaks and mends.
doesn't allow and doesn't
let go.
So forget my heart,
a useless beating thing,
circling blood and
feeding life,
disregarding feelings and
goings-on.
it just continues to beat.
oh well.
So last night, i slept in a tent and it stormed! but we stayed strong and just went back to bed once the storm was over. Arent we badass? Yeah, right. We were just too lazy to run inside.
One more announcement, and then an on-the-spot poem.
Announcement! Check out this link : http://www.flickr.com/photos/breerockbrand/4234278731/ and let me know if you're interested. Leave a comment or something. But I promise, if you like writing, this will be very, very cool.
Poem from the top of my head:
smooth feeling,
a steady beating...
my heart?
does it make it right,
to feel? To love,
selflessly?
without letting anything get
in the way?
because humanity
in its essence,
stops and defends,
breaks and mends.
doesn't allow and doesn't
let go.
So forget my heart,
a useless beating thing,
circling blood and
feeding life,
disregarding feelings and
goings-on.
it just continues to beat.
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